I've been seeing this guy throughout the past month or so. We've hung out about like 7 or 8 times and we get along really well. I'm 21, he's The second date, he was talking loosely in "we" terms so I was like, okay, he's interested in something romantic. I was a little freaked out but I decided he is an older guy and maybe they are just more mature about making commitment-ish comments.
Relationship Advice Guest Post: Am I wasting my time with my mixed signals guy?
Anyway, so we have hooked up a couple of times The second time we hooked up I kind of wanted to take it further. We were both a bit tipsy at the time and I hinted that he could touch me at least second base if he wanted. I mean, my breasts are kind of a prominent part of my physical sexuality and he just I don't know if he's conservative I'm not too conservative and I'm used to guys who aren't really shy about that He did ask me if I "sleep around" and then was relieved when I replied that I didn't, really.
Anyway, we've seen each other a couple times since then and it's still been great, with kisses goodbye and all that, and we get along in our personalities well. But I am sexually frustrated as hell. The last time we went out together and we came back to his place and we watched a movie.
I was so. He didn't even try to make a move and I felt awkward making a move I don't know why Anyway then we just like Why would you even ask that? And then we cuddled more. Is he just not into me? And if so, why does he keep asking me to hang out and sleep over and kiss me goodbye, etc.? Also, could he be gay? I know it's really really narcissistic of me to ask, but I did wonder that during our first date Maybe he's just a little shy.
Some men are like that and it's OK.
You may need to be more aggressive with him, but if he wants to take it slowly and you're OK with that, just take it slowly. Based on what you've said, I do think he's probably into you, but he's just taking his time for whatever reason.
Before making the "He's not in my pants, must be gay" leap, why don't you just take all this communication you've pointed in AskMe's direction to HIM perhaps without the gay assumption. Seriously - just ask him. Maybe he's not attracted to you. Maybe he likes to take things physically slower.
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Maybe a pesky case of chlamydia hasn't quite cleared up yet. Maybe his last girlfriend slept around on him and he's not over it yet.
Maybe he IS gay, but I don't particularly think that having a clean apartment and lots of clothes is a reliable sign. Assuming that you know this and couldn't really express what you did need, I'm going to add an answer to the question you should have asked, which IMHO is: I suggest, at dinner and before returning to his or your apartment, just asking "Hey, we've seen each other a few times now and I am having a lot of fun getting to know you better.
I feel good about things, what do you think? And then kissed my head or something. You need to continue this discussion and ask him why ya'll ain't having sex.
There may be good reasons, such he's been hurt or is really shy, but the problem is that ya'll are on two different wavelengths about this. You need to talk and figure this out, real soon now. Make your intentions clear, crystal clear, as in "I'm ready to have sex with you and I'd prefer it be sooner than later, ok? So the next time we're making out, which I'm ok with being in the next five, no two minutes, you can take things a lot further, or if you like, I can start. There's probably a story here and it doesn't make him or you a bad person or somehow unworthy that he hasn't take things further.
The vehemence with which I answered you came from being in similar situations especially with regard to wanting more out of the relationship, physically, and feeling as a woman, somehow "wrong" for asking for it.
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You can decide if you really should get back your ex or move on. You need to take a long look at your life and start figuring out where and want you want to do with your life. Having an objective in mind will help keep you centered. Produce a checklist that you need to tackle each day.
Take a holiday, go back to college, reconnect with old buddies or heck, clean out that closet you may have been planning on doing for a while, but never got around to. Organize your plans, as well as, your everyday living. Many people believe that everything happens for a reason. We may not understand why, at the time.
You will find your answer, eventually. You will figure it out in time. Some simply call this learning from our mistakes. It can be far more spiritual than this. You really will figure out if you should get back your ex or decide if you are better off alone. If your ex has caused you pain and heartache more times than you care to count, you may decide you need to just get over it and then move on.
Only you can really decide these things. You can listen to all the advice you can handle, but ultimately, it is your decision to move on or to try to get back your ex.
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This may be one of the most difficult decisions you will ever make. You have to determine if you want to continue on a path of heartache and pain, or to just continue to plow forward and learn to live and love again.
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Either way, you need to figure out what you want from your life. The choices are in your hands. We make our own happiness or pain. If you want to get back your ex, fix what needs fixing and then learn the techniques and strategies that will assist you on how to get back your ex. If not, learn the strategies that will help you to become a stronger, more confident person, who takes control of your life. Either way, it is a win-win situation. Another option could be for you to sit down with him and discuss the relationship that the two of you have. Your approach would be better received if you could be low-key and casual so as not to scare him off or make him feel threatened or uncomfortable.
You could explain to him how much your relationship means to him and that you continue to maintain a strong attraction for him. Then take your cues from what he says. If he truly wants nothing more than pure friendship with you, it will be important for you to grieve your disappointment and decide whether you can continue contact with him in the short-term. Everybody is different…some people are able to maintain an ongoing friendship while others find this too difficult to entertain.
I wish you all the best with this! Remember that you deserve to be with someone who is as enthusiastic about being with you as you are him! Take care and best wishes! Your Name required. Your Email required.
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