"THE AUTHORITY ON ALL THINGS DATING"
While every date is unique, here are a few tips that will help you navigate the potentially tricky terrain of your first time out with a man! If the two of you met at a music show and have been texting about bands since then, feel free to keep that conversation going at the start of your date. Start with general talk, but always be on the lookout for little comments or asides that can easily transition into a more intimate conversation. To keep the music analogy going, if your date mentions they saw a band in London, then you have a natural opportunity to ask him about his time in that city, about traveling or about any relevant topics.
But asking that question when the conversation hints at it allows you to learn a lot about someone in a free-flowing manner. Dates are meant to be enjoyable experiences, not depositions, and you can learn a lot about someone and their life experiences while having a good time. Getting to know someone is more about developing a feel for the specific connection the two of you share.
Sam has been writing about dating and relationships for more than three years now. He holds a bachelor's degree from Bucknell University, has self-published a few of his own books and is currently working on mastering the double right turn in his salsa dancing classes. No matter what the reputation of the site, profiles serve as a first impression and allow other men to build a story about who you are as a person am I'm not just talking about the physical.
How you present yourself on the shelf can make all the difference between snagging your dream lover or enjoying 15 minutes of fame.
Here's how you can turn around your online dating luck. Marketing yourself online isn't just about you, but who you want to attract. Majority of men on the net browse around aimlessly, not knowing what they are looking for; waiting for an ambiguous Mr. Right to message them. Of course, we're all seeking a good man, but what kind of man? The idea of "hot" is always in the eye of the mouse clicker. Is your ideal guy short, of average build with a love for theatre or is he a nature buff of medium height and slim frame?
Even if you can visualize your ideal mate in your head, it's a good idea to draw him on paper. Make a list of his qualities and don't limit yourself to physical attributes- personality traits and details about his lifestyle is he out, closeted, curious are very important. You can be very specific "My guy is 28 years old" or you can use ranges "My guy is between 28 and 34 years old". This may seem like an exercise in vain, especially when you could be using those valuable minutes browsing through profiles, but knowing exactly what you want gives you focus and sends a positive message of who you'd like to attract.
Have you ever wondered how some of these online guys come up with their screen names? I'm always baffled by the funny spellings and the creative phrases they use, especially while I'm staring at my monitor trying to come up with an eight letter word that will live with me the entire time I'm on the site.
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Rest assured, you don't need to come up with an award-winning screen name to attract attention. Often times I use a favorite song title or a word from my favorite movie- something that will spark interest or prompt other hopeless romantics to look at my profile.
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Screen names are like billboard headlines, which invite others to at least check out the product. Online, I've found that the more abstract the screen name, the more guys will message me and ask questions, which ultimately leads to a conversation- the best way to assess a match. Keep in mind, screen names can also be a deterrent. So think about the image you want to present. A name like "lookn4luv" is more likely to attract the romantic types than "easystevie". Even the goriest of movies never show the most graphic scene on the DVD cover. They leave something to mystery, plus they don't want to scare potential viewers away.
A man who values an intellectual thriller is not likely to rent a movie with exposed intestine on the cover. Keep the intrigue by saving the details until you and your dream man are intimate for the first time.
Show a little chest or even a leg, but if you wouldn't show it in public don't show it online. By keeping your pics on the PG or R-rated scale you're showing your suitor that you're about more than just about sex. Graphic shots may get more quantity, but it's the quality of man you're looking for. Profile headlines can be a vehicle to attract the man you want, but they can also serve as the first line of defense against the man you don't.
Think of your headline as an expanded version of your marketing screen name. Use this space usually characters long to describe your interests or the interests you desire in a man.
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Elaborate on where your screen name originates or try giving a catchy intro to who you are as a person. Come find out! The first example is likely to attract a guy that's into travel like you are while the second shows your prospect that you are open to dating. Use your ad section as just that- an ad! You have a short amount of space to show your personality and call your dream guy to action. Now that your catchy screen name and headline attracted a guy, clinch the deal with your ad text.
Use the list you made earlier to help you write about your interests, including what you like and dislike in a man.
You can mention your education, hobbies, or quirky personality traits. If you're a witty guy, give them a little taste.
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If you're the more reserved type, say so. I'm more attracted to a guy who's told me a little about himself more than one that is vague or leaves too much to wonder. How intriguing is it for a writer to find out that someone loves fiction or for a sci-fi movie lover to discover that someone has the entire Star Wars collection? These details may seem out of place for sites known for quick hookups, but relationship-oriented guys browse these sites too and your purpose is to find a date or long-term relationship which is about compatibility on levels beyond the physical.
Most online profiles ask for your age, body type, ethnicity, eye color, hair color, and height among other things. Be as specific as possible within your comfort zone, but never lie. Have you ever ordered something from a catalog and looked nothing like the picture in the brochure? Even the romantic who digs your winning personality over your physical features will see fibbing as an issue of trust.